Saturday, January 16, 2010

Sweet surrender...is what's currently playing

Why do I see what my friends are doing and get jealous? Why do I sometimes I feel like I am unfulfilled with life. I'm sure that's like a punch in the face to my Heavenly Father. I have a beautiful little boy, an amazing husband, I'm that much closer to celestial glory and eternity, but I'm wishing for the insignificant, silly things. I get nostalgic for high school too much. For the simple life. All in all, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. I get to witness miracles everyday, so why do I feel like my life's not enough? I hope I'm not the only person who feels like this now and again. Is there more that I need to be doing to feel better, more content? I feel lonely. I need a life, sociability.

How could I possibly be sad when I have this?

10 comments:

sav said...

i think that right now you are feeling totally normal. being a stay at home mom is lonely..(not that i really know), but still having friends is important. seriously, if you are ever having a stir crazy day and want to come over (on a wed or fri cause those are my days off) you are welcome to! just give me a call.

becky rigby said...

Aynna, First off I love that song. =) It made me so sad to read your post. Some times I feel the same way, like there could be more to my life. I've found the best way to fulfill it is to serve others. We are blessed with so much and now we need to help others. We have a neat service project coming up I'll really want you to come. Let's get together, you know how we love visitors. I'm sure you do too, we almost stopped by today after church. Families are forever Aynna, so let's start our forever today! I'm sure we'll see you tomorrow.

Pam said...

another one of those things we get to learn as we go. And yes it is normal to have these feelings and actually it is what you do with the feelings that really count. It is good to question ourselves to see if we are doing what is really important or using what we have in a way that is worthwhile, and you can tell at the end of the day you have a resounding answer. You are amazing and keep up the great work!

Luanne Hardy said...

I feel like that all the time. I have to remind myself, just like you did, that I really do have an amazing life and I'm truly happy. But I think that's how the adversary plays his role the best. He makes us think that we are not significant enough or good enough. It's just part of being human. Like I said, I feel like that all time. The thing that i love to do is just read my scriptures and my patriarchal blessing. I love you and I think you are amazing.

Charlotte Shores said...

Don't worry Aynna, I feel jealous of everyone else ALL the time, which isn't good, and at least you've come to understand all the great things you've got in your life, which are tons and tons, you're one of the people I'm jealous of! I've yet to get to the point you're at, where I can accept that I've got a fabulous life, even if sometimes I want what others have. I love you, you're a great person with a great family and a great life :)

supermom said...

I still feel that way now that I'm an empty nester and a grandma! I agree that service to others is the key,but we also need to fill our own cup first in order to have anything to give.
Being a stay at home mom IS hard and lonely. Anciently, women met at the well and had a village mentality which must have been much better than being isolated with the only connection being electronic devices. I'm grateful for them because it's my window on the world.
I love your new picture of your amazing little family! Keep up the good work and network more.
I love you, Aynna!

Cara Rigby said...

Oh love it's so easy to feel that way~just like Pam said, it's how you deal with it. I think it's important to get some time to yourself with no kids or husband, just you. Start a crocheting group, or Bunco, or something that you can look forward. When I'm stuck in the middle of "things" one of the best things for me to do is take a step back and breathe. Love you!

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Miller Time said...

You are not alone girlfriend. I'm going through the same thing. The question is how do we get out of the rut?

Michelle said...

Come play with us! I'd go crazy if I didn't get out with other Moms and have playdates and things like that. We go to the Treehouse Museum almost every Monday, you should come with us one of these days! I know Jonah is a little young but sometimes it's more for the Moms than anything :). Colby has a pass which can get 2 adults in for free so you'd be free and since Johan isn't walking yet he'd be free too!... I think we all have our lonely days and feel like you described. So just know you're not alone :).