Just get it over with!

I am starting to feel frustrated and discouraged the more this pregnancy goes on. I know I still technically have a week left, but there's all these signs that it's progressing and things are moving on, and everyone's saying "oh you could go at any time" and I don't. And every day I come into work it's "you're still here?". Yeah, thanks for reminding me. I know I'm just getting impatient and anxious and there's nothing to worry about, but I think I feel like I may be getting ready to have my baby and every morning I wake up, still pregnant, no water broken on the bed and I just get angry. And then sad. It's some weird depressive cycle, and I know it makes no sense, but it's just how I feel. I have everything I can possibly get ready, ready. But I guess he's not ready yet. And Derek is feeling bad about my frustration and it's not his fault. And then I feel even worse. Oh boy

Closer and closer...

So, some stuff is happening (and I won't describe it on here, for the sake of some who don't like hearing it. Adam) and I think I'm really, really getting ready. Please little boy, come. I love you and want to hold you and kiss you and share you with daddy. We are so anxious! Please, let us meet you!

Almost time...

Went out yesterday and bought about everything else I need for baby. Almost done! And as Derek says, no matter how much I try and prepare for the coming of this baby, there are some things I won't have, won't know and will have to learn. Oh boy. Just come already little boy!! So much anticipation

Take a deep breath...

I got into work this morning and was talking with my coworkers and they said it looks like I've dropped a bit. I didn't notice if I could breathe any better or if I had to pee more often, but that's good. Means I'm that much closer. Yay! I had a dream the other night that the next time I went in to my midiwife, this thursday, that she told me I was already dialated to a 6 and that I needed to go into the hospital now. Woah! That would be awesome. They'd have to postpone or just cancel my shower though scheduled for saturday. Oh well. A baby is much better than a shower :)

Update!

Dialated to a: 3

My midwife says if I continue to progress like I have been, the baby could come soon and I may not make it to my due date. But she also has seen women dialated to a 5 and be overdue. So I'm hoping for the first!! Cross your fingers! And since she's said that, I moved my last day of work up from March 6th to March 2nd. Not much, but I need to work at least one day in March to continue to get insurance through the rest of the month. If I even last that long. I think I would be ok with the baby coming early, even if it means no March b-day. I feel ready to pop. And I know I must be having contractions, but I don't really feel them. Which is also good :)

There is still so much to do though, I'm not sure I'd be ready for him to come just yet. The crib still needs to be put together; I don't actually have the carseat in my possession yet, but I know I have it; I need to pack my bag for the hospital still; there are so many items I just don't have yet. Oh boy. I'm becoming the naggy, nesting wife who constantly bugs Derek about getting things ready and put together. I think he's really getting sick of it. I'm sorry, Derek. I just want things to get put together and in order.

I'll keep you posted on what happens :)

36 weeks down

Went to my 36 week appointment. From now on I'll be going weekly. She checked me out as always, babies still nice and healthy. 6 1/2 lbs!! He's getting so big! So am I. I've officially hit the 50 lbs gained mark. Woo! Haha, more than I wanted to, but I think it's working out ok. I'm not insanely overweight or anything, so good good. It's getting ready to pop. My cervix is softening while my uterus is hardening. All part of the process.

Little boy, get here soon. I can't wait to meet you!!

Rebel rebel

They block my internet at work. Jerk faces. So I can "focus". Because all I ever do it blog and read my email. Sorry no.

So where do you think I'm posting this from? WORK! Ha!

I am officially an anarchist :)