Saturday, June 4, 2011
At the beginning of the year I made my New Years Resolution like everyone else. It wasn't to lose so many pounds, or to learn to cook something really well. It was to stop talking about people behind their backs. I'm not like a huge gossiper or anything (in my own opinion), but when I had frustrations, I would go to another person and just vent and that would bring all the bad feelings up to the surface. And I was doing pretty well too. I wasn't even saying anything to Derek in my frustrations. But I had an experience the other day that made me realize that not saying something wasn't good enough. Because I was still thinking these thoughts, just not expressing them. And in a way that could be worse to just let it build up inside and simmer. So I realized it needed to be more, be bigger! And it could definitely not just be this years resolution. It needed to be a life resolution. I realized I needed to find a little bit of love for everyone. Especially those I felt wronged by or always found irritation toward. Because in doing so it would be that much easier to say nothing, because if I found that little bit of love and saw the good qualities in them, I wouldn't think mean thoughts to begin with. This realization brought tears to my eyes. Or maybe it was the crying that started it, I don't know. But being like Christ is our main goal in life, isn't it? And we know that we can not reach perfection until after this life, but it doesn't give us an excuse to not try. That would be giving up. And once that's done, it's so hard to get back on track again. If I can find that little bit of live for those people, I can find more love for them over time, making being like Christ that much more realistic.